another week has passed, and i am happy i survived! i've been busy this week decluttering the house (does this ever end?), beautifying the front and back yards so it will be perfect to put on the market, and of course caring for three young children during the process. this is no simple task! we told the kids the news, and they are very excited. cristiana's face lights up when she thinks of austin and she immediately screams, "yay! kaylee and jude!" and elli follows her lead. kaylee and jude are their beloved cousins. so telling them has helped motivate them to stop doing things like climbing up the doorways to hang off the molding around it and treating the low walls like a balance beam. apart from that, they are clueless. when i first told cristiana we were selling the house, she sadly replied, "okay, but mommy, i don't want them to have all my stuff." i chuckled and explained to her they would be getting the house but not all her toys, and she was fine with that. it seems to me kids are fine as long as they have close relationships and their "stuff." although, i am busy trying to make us satisfied with less stuff. 

i've been prioritizing in the last few months, and i realize how little we really need. i am no longer the packrat that keeps my shoes from high school that i just might wear one day or the books that i just might read or the papers that i just might need, and i no longer buy my kids cheap little toys just to fill their stockings or easter baskets, but i continue to feel like we have too much. i want to live as simply as possible. i want to not need my garage or my attic for storage because my goodness, if it doesn't all fit in my 1,755 square foot home, do i really need it? i read in the Houston Chronicle yesterday that a man's family was awarded a few hundred thousand dollars after he was trampled to death on black friday when 200 people stampeded into wal-mart to get their annual black friday savings. another lady miscarried her baby after being knocked down by fellow shoppers. can you tell me we don't have a problem in this country? we are stampeding for computers, kitchen gadgets, and toys, willing to trample over anyone that gets in our way. this mass consumption has turn into mass hysteria because we're afraid we won't save the hundred bucks on some product a corporation convinced us we needed to have. 

i am trying to convince myself of other things, to think more globally. i think about things like the fact that one billion children don't have access to clean drinking water or that every few seconds a child dies of hunger. that's 15 million children in a year that die. please, don't think of these as numbers. think of names and faces and lives. think of cute little toddlers running around. of the smiles. the giggles. the snuggles. of the tears. the cries. the wails. i have to pause myself to even reflect on this grim reality. do it. stop reading right now.




i ask myself, what would i do if these were my children? if you think we are all in this together as human beings, then you have to believe, they are your children. they are my children. how could we not care for them? i am not saying any of this to inflict guilt, okay maybe just a little, but should we not feel guilty? oh yes, i know, i hear repeatedly, there is only so much we can do, and we can't feel guilty for what we have because others don't. but come on, it's only partially true that you have what you have because you worked your ass off for it. oh, i'm not denying that you probably worked your tail off, but could it have helped that you just so happened to be born in the united states of america? would you have the same life if you were born in senegal or laos or burundi?? so yes, i think we should feel guilty, not because we have, but because we have and we are unwilling to share. we teach our kids to share all the time, but we are unwilling to do it ourselves. we stake a claim to what's ours. we may as well shout and scream, "that's mine!! i'm not going to share!! i don't want to!" i know, i know, we are all just trying to get by, but we have to believe there is more to life than getting by. 

so i ask you, out of my own guilt and irresponsibility and especially out of my desire to change, please, won't you consider making changes with me? my heart desperately wants to live differently, but i'll be the first to admit, i get caught up in what's around me. as much as a non-conformist as i am (homebirth, attachment parenting, breastfeeding, vegan, yada, yada), where i put my money is not always ultimately where i want it to be going. i want it to be going to others just as much, if not more, than to myself and my own family. lofty goal, i know, but it starts with the small changes. here are my changes, working toward my goal, won't you share yours?


* I will not use shopping as therapy. 
  You think I'm crazy. I am by no means a shopaholic. We have a very modest income and I don't have to have the newest gadget on   
  the market or even those that are five years old. My kids don't get toys, except for christmas & their birthdays, but sometimes, after
  being home for a week with no van, I just want to get out of the house. And living down the street from every store you can imagine, I
  end up at one of them, usually Target. Um, why don't I just go to the park? Or to visit a friend? Even if it's $5 spent on something I
  don't need, that is $5! One in four people on the planet live on less than $1 a day!!!

* Whenever I buy something I don't need, I will give equally as much to someone in need.
  This is not punishment. It's just to get me to be more intentional about where I put my money. I know when I buy something I don't 
  need. My conscience always tells me. And believe me, we try to convince ourselves we need so much. But I am committing before
  you, my readers, to follow through with this in honesty. I am not saying I should only help others in need when I selfishly give to
  myself. This is in addition because I really think it will cause me to actually think twice about it because I will be thinking about 
  others in the process. And then, with the money I save, I will have more to give toward my next goal. If you have a better idea than this
  one, do let me know.

* I will give x dollars to someone in need every week, either by way of charity or directly.
   I say every week because this is when Shay gets paid. And I say "x" because I don't think we need to advertise how much we give
   but it's just important that we do give. Even $1 is a starting point so don't ever feel like you can give too little because if you're not     
   giving at all, any bit is more than what you were giving before. And once you start investing into someone or into some charity you
   wholeheartedly love and support, I don't think you will want to stop giving. You will likely want to give more.

Okay, so that's three goals for now. I will update next Friday. Feel free to tag someone with this blog. Imagine the possibilities.