it's the end of the week, but it always feels like the beginning of mine. shay is off for the weekend, i can actually travel further than the one mile radius of my neighborhood, and the air just smells sweeter. i love staying home with my children, but it's different when "staying home" literally means staying home and nothing else.

but i have to say we have had a good week. i'm convinced kids only want two things from you—your love & your time. but really the second is just a natural outpouring of the first. i've been thinking about quality time compared with quantity, and i really think they want both. of course if you absolutely can't give them quantity, then quality is just perfect, but if you can afford to spend significant periods of time with your children, talking to them, enjoying their presence, getting to know them like you would with anybody you are in love with, then i think you'll be surprised, pleasantly of course.

this week i noticed the simple things. the patter of asher's feet as he ran from me when i needed to change his diaper. the way elli's top lip pointedly graces her teeth when she smiles. and i was especially satisfied with the dialogue i had with my oldest daughter, cristiana. she's five.


cristiana: mommy, guess my favorite place.

me: disneyland! 

cristiana: no.

me: the zoo!

cristiana: no.

me: chuck e. cheese?

cristiana: no.

me: the park?

cristiana: no.

me: the beach?

cristiana: no.

me: well then, i don't know cristiana. where is your favorite place?

cristiana: pauses, thinks for a second...home.


i read in the paper today about a woman in new mexico who murdered her three your old son. as soon as i read the headline, i gasped (likely what you just did) and got pist off at yet another child murdered at the hands of the one who should be his fiercest protector. but you want to know what made the officer on scene cry and caused my own downpour? she said she didn't want him to have to live a life where nobody cared about him just like she had lived a life where nobody cared about her.

my heart sank.

perhaps she was loved and this was an excuse, but perhaps she really never felt loved or cared for. no, i do not think this excuses her actions, but consider this young woman's aching heart for a moment. a twenty one year old young lady suffocated her son while he was sleeping because she felt unloved and didn't want him to experience the same fate. oh that she would have just loved him instead!! but this extreme, this horrific murder, should tell us how important it is to be loved. and these are the kinds of stories we are seeing everywhere. i often hear people say, "i don't watch the news because i don't like to see all the negativity." and yes, while shocking things certainly do sell, i've decided i don't want to be ignorant and pretend the negativity doesn't exist. i want to do what i can to change it. we are at a point where people are refusing their misery. perhaps they are severely emotionally disturbed and misguided and handling things in the most horrendous of ways, but i have to say that maybe these stories will give us wake up calls and reminders of what truly matters.

it is not the latest fashion trends, fad diets, or mud masks. it's not even where our kids go to school or where we work. what truly matters are people. people. people. people. i can't say it enough. so no matter where you are in life, suffering the most wretched of fates or beaming on top of the highest mountain, do not forget those closest to you, those dearest to your heart. there is no greater tragedy than to have lived a full life and failed to have loved. and there's nothing more fulfilling than choosing to pour out your heart and your life in love for another. and that, my friends, is home.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



goal updates from last friday—

no shopping for therapy this week, woohoo! it feels so good to stop doing such a stupid thing! & i gave to a local momma in need instead of a charity. she's a single mom, not by choice, and she is going from being a stay at home mom for several years, supported by her husband, to one who has had to find a job, a new place to live, and is starting new with almost nothing. and she's facing a custody battle on top of it all. i know she'd appreciate your prayers. & i'd like to say i'm thankful for our local mamas group, Peaceful Beginnings, who is always eager to contribute to those in need. i really think every mama should have access to a group as wonderful!

happy friday everyone!! enjoy your weekend. leave this week behind and start NEW! and remember to love one another.